Since I was a teenager, some form of stress or the other has always been a part of my life. Deadlines for school, family issues, friend's problems, there was something always going on. When my parents split, and my grandmother died all within a month my stress level hit the roof. Now most of those issues are over and I live a pretty stress free life. I have the usual stresses, work, bills, am I being a good Christian, etc, but not like I used to. I feel a calm inside of me, and am a little less high strung than before, and it hasn't gone unnoticed. But not in a good way. People I work with and a couple of friends constantly think that something is wrong with me or that I am "in a bad mood". Neither of these are the case. I like to laugh and am not the quietest person, but laughing was a way for me to cover my hurting without being asked the questions "Are you ok?", "Is there anything that I can do for you?", or the worst is "I know how you feel!". But now, when I am 100% ok, and I have gone from high stress to an idle, I am getting these questions. Then I get irritated. HA.

As much as being a calm person is a change for me, an unexpected side effect is a little indifference to my friends issues. I still care about what is happening to them, and try to help, but I don't hurt as much for their problems as I used to. Maybe I used to tie their problems in with mine? I guess life makes you tough, and the only thing that stays the same is everything changes.

As a disclaimer I would like to say that this is a blog for me to get out pent up things inside me that helps me to deal with issues in my life, I do not write this for others and if you choose to read it cool!



Growing up life was easy, too easy. Although my parents started out with a little less than nothing my brother and I never had to worry about food, and wanted for little. Mama and Daddy are both great parents, and I know they have raised two good kids. As time went on and my parents got good jobs and worked their way up, things got easier. We always went to church, my brother played football, I played in the band, we both had good friends and were mildly popular, basic cookie cutter Mississippi Southern Baptist family.



The easy life fell out from under us. And awaiting at the bottom was the closest thing to hell that I hope I will ever endure. My dad had been having an affair with a girl younger than me for a while, and we all knew it. My brother, dad, and I all worked together with this girl. None of us are stupid, but I guess my dad thought that we wouldn't know! My Mama finally did what we thought she never would do, although we didnt know it was her underlying plan for a while. She actually told my dad she wanted a divorce, and looking back it was a shock that it happend, but not because they were splitting, but the uncertainity of it all. And that Mama did it.